Octopus Jokes

The octopus is a serious issue, that much is clear. But without humor, how can we face the certainty of our fate? Great leaders have used humor for the centuries, including Moses, and Martin Luther King.

"How many octopuses does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"1/8!"

"How can you tell when an octopus is lying?"
"It’s mouth/beak is moving!" (this works as a lawyer joke too, with just "mouth")

"Did you know that an octopus in real life actually figured out how to open a jar of shrimp?"
It’s true. It’s on the Internet (no joke!)

"An octopus walks into an octopus bar and says ‘bartender, pour me a drink.’ What does the bartender say?"
"That’s ridiculous--we’re already underwater! That’s the only place you could have and octopus bar!"

"Why did the octopus cross the road?"
"To enslave and kill humanity!" (gallows humor)